Your business card is crap.
A hilarious (don't think it was intentially funny) video showing pitchman Joel Bauer criticising business cards but then showing you a resolution; his own business card.
"My card is die cut. My card is foil stamped. My card is embossed"
It even has a photo of him and a pop out feautre when you open the card.
If you gave a company a card like this. They would laugh and think you're a vain, egosticial moron.
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